Szyjakowski Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 the best job anyone could dream up! reposted for people who did not want to surf through all the shit talking! Email from my friend: These are (or so I'm told) actual signs from the Federal Terrorist Preparedness website - http://www.ready.gov (The captions have been added for clarification.) If you have set yourself on fire, do not run If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud. If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued. If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor. Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you! The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand. Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot someone with dead eyes and no nose, run the fuck away. Hurricanes, penguins, dead fish, and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it. Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically. If a door is closed, karate chop it open. If irradiated, try to absorb as much of it as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you will become sterile! After exposure to radiation you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head. If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit. -- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell. If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting. -- A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation. disclaimer: I didn't write these captions as I have much work to do at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordop Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 (edited) . Edited June 15, 2021 by jordop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fejas Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Fuck now what do I do? I'm ripped and i've just spilt bong water all over myself... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Iain, what the frck are you posting, son? All DFA can see is a grey box with white text reading "AIRTOONS.com -- DON'T STEAL MY BANDWIDTH. JUST LINK TO MY SITE." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fejas Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 so be it : airtoons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobBob Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 the best job anyone could dream up! I recently found the best job anyone could dream up. It was in Austria last month, after a hard day of skiing. We went into the public sauna in town. There was actually a guy there, the saunameister, who was being paid to tell the 'rule-breakers' (usually British women) that they could not wear their swimsuits into the sauna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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