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chris_stolz

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Everything posted by chris_stolz

  1. Joshua Tree TR with photos

    An impressionistic TR from Joshua Tree Xmas 07-08. Photos at end of post. Get on a plane. Get off a plane. Get lost in Palm Springs. Get lost where you have no idea where you got lost from. Get cold. Get warm, get cold again. Climb something. Climb nothing. Buy wine, buy beer, buy nothing, and cook it all together. Lead something that scares you. Follow something that doesn't. Take a whipper. Fall on the approach. Onsight the impossible. Use a toprope, or don't. Close the guidebook, open your head, try a boulder, follow the light, go headfirst, move your feet up. Put up a footbouldering problem, send it, and name it after something you can't have. Show it to people in sandals. Buy beer for your neighbours. Drink theirs. Steal soembody's coffee machien and fill it with whisky. Invent a competitive game using climbing equipment that doesn't involve climbing. Teach it to ten random strangers after they each shotgun beers. Practice sumo wrestling using boulder mats instead of big bellies. Wait for the shrooms to kick in. Teach four strangers to play Irish music and watch four others intepretive dance it. Grab somebody's ass. Get yours grabbed. Drunken freesolo the Chasm with the Moon as your only lamp. Take a girl with a broken ankle with you. Make a pot of coffee, and then another. Go dirtbagging without a rope, a car, a plan. Sleep under boulders wake in sunlight. Order in Spanish if you don't speak it. Put your pack down and your feet up. Cook dinner in your breakfast dishes and breakfast in your dinners. Forget the dishes. Forget your keys, forget your camera, remember to salute the Moon. Watch the Moon shrink and the days grow and note how Orion's flipped since he was in Bolivia's sky. Lust after somebody who's taken, take somebody who's lusty. Listen to a Russian sing English climbing songs to Brazillian beats. Change campsites. Stay in one spot. Tell a lesbian you love her, tell a gay guy he's hot, check out your partner's ass. During beers, offer to nude freesolo an offwidth for money, and then actually do it. See how many instruments you can gather around your fire and still not get busted by a Ranger. Do the same with dirtbags and consecutive weeks. Put "man!" on the end of every sentence, or "God willing." Turn off your cell, get out of wireless, take a photo you think won't work, steal firewood, burn things, tell a pedophile joke, tell a dead baby joke, make up a whole new joke, add "if you know what I mean" to all statements to make them sexually suggestive. Lie about the last route. Tell the scary truth. Climb too many days in a row, don't climb at all, get gobies, lose tendinitis. Overdo something, forget something else, get something exactly right. Drive too slowly on the freeway and smile at your tailgaters. Paint a heart in the dust on your rear window. Climb the wrong route and have a great day anyway. Get up with th boulderers, get up after the boulderers, don't get up at all. Get beta, give beta, fuck beta, take somebody's word for it, take nobody's word for it. Follow what scares your leader, lead what scares your second, scare yourself. Stop waiting for the wind to stop, wait for the wind, listen to the wind, get mad at the goddamned wind. Kiss the wrong person. Spend one day speaking only literally, and another only in metaphors, like this: break open the head. Sunset from Hidden Valley Another sunset. Fern starts the Deli and Markus gets a preview of the 2008 Beijing Olympics No photoshop. Markus seconding a nice 5.7 Sunset in Hidden Valley How does a dirtbag pay for his car rental? In case the monzonite doesn't trash your tips, the mandolin will finish them off nicely.
  2. Joshua Tree TR with photos

    I played with a couple of fun guitar players new year's eve. They seemd to like simplified Irish accompaniment; we got some good grooves going. did you meet Trout Man? I don't know his real name. He plays old-time banjo and was there this year. He's an American from somewhere east of California. Quite a good player, who has no idea what he is doing (e.g. cannot tell you what tuning, key etc he is in).
  3. Joshua Tree TR with photos

    Yea, I will try to be there-- listen for the sound of the mandolin. Not as many musicians as I'd hoped but still a good New Year's.
  4. Joshua Tree TR with photos

    I got handed the 'shroom bin too but after all the beer who knows what was what. I just remember a girl in zebra stripes saying "have you had musical mushrooms yet?" and then I realised she said magic.
  5. Joshua Tree TR with photos

    Yea, listened to Dirtbag Vic's climbing songs, then went to the drum circle and played tunes. It was really good (from the musician's perspective) after the cops busted it-- only one djembe meant that the rest of us could hear ourselves play. Rad times.
  6. Hope Ice (lack of) conditions Jan 20

    buttloads on the Duffy, Dru. New line is in at __________; you did the FA. perhaps next weekend Fern and I will scoop you again, mwu-ha-ha!
  7. Looking for 1-2 people to share car rental (+ possibly camping) Dec25-Jan5 in Joshua Tree. The original plan was for 4 of us to meet in Palm Springs on Dec 25th; two ppl have bailed. So looking to meet up in Palm Springs and spend about 10 days in J-Tree. Car for 10 days about $200 plus gas, unlimited km. Possible to share cooking equipment. This would be a good way to go if you are flying in, want wheels, and don't know locals. If interested email chris.stolz(att) gmail (dot) com markraymondmason(att)yahoo(dot)ca
  8. Dog Owners' index

    % chance that somebody whose lunch is being nosed by a stranger's dog is happy about dog's behaviour: 0 % chance that the rabbit or marmot or other wildlife being chased by Bowser is happy to be chased: 0 % chance that a climber is happy to have somebody else's dog sit on his/her rope, gear, feet, whatever, while belaying: 0 Number of better uses for a dog leash than for tying up a dog: 0 Number of better places for a dog leash than in owner's pack: one. Odds that climbers, wildlife, the government, or other visitors to climbing or hiking area will be really happy to see dogshit: 3,000,000,000 to 1.
  9. Winter Rock Options

    I've had shirtless climbing in the sun, moderately clothed long route climbing in the full shade, and ice climbing in Red Rocks around x-mas. Unless it snows or rains for days, it's fine: you can always find sun. Get the newest guide (not a select or supertopo) by I think Roxanna Brock, which has laods of good old-school moderates. Also the first Urioste guide is good. J-tree, same weather, just be prepared to change plans the morning of, depending on wind.
  10. Dog Owners' index

    % chance that you replied to substance of post: 0 % chance that you substitute ad hominem argument for thought: 100 I love dogs. My climbing partner has one and we brought him with us last tiem we went out; no, I didn't leave my lunch on the ground; but every now and again it seems like Bowser oughtta be on a leash.
  11. Bolivia...

    Has anybody on here been rock climbing in Bolivia? I'm going for a few months and am wondering if there is decent cragging or alpine rock there. I've looked at the guide which has high and very technical (and remote) alpine mixed routes, and snow walk-ups onto volcanoes (boring).
  12. inspiring books about female climbers

    lynn hill's book "climbing free" is neat. she's not a brilliant writer but she has a good story.
  13. how to respect lazy climbers....

    Couldn't the guys just jumped on Rewritten and joined up after the first pitch? People complain about Index, my experiences tell my Squamish and Eldo are much, much worse. I have yet to do more then Mosquito on the Smoke Bluff Connection due to crowds, and that was because it was raining when I climbed it. I think there's an order of priority, at least in Squish, and the code (dutifuly presented by Kevin McLane in the Squmaish guidebook): -- no hammers on free cracks -- leaders get priority, then TR people, aid climbers go to obscure routes please -- if you are slow, get the fuck out of the way -- do not gang-bang at busy areas. (and mine: don't do a multipitch climb which is at your grade limit. Even if you can onsight say 11a, it's gonna be a lot harder to climb 11a when you've done 10 pitches previously and you are dehydrated.) And if you are that doorknob on Angel's Crest/the Buttress/or going "just to the top of the Pillar", etc, who brought his girlfriend and her best friend, and one liter of water between the three of you, on a lovely August day, and you are getting spanked on the last 10a crack due to exhaustion, dehydration and rope clusterfucking, and are holding 5 parties hostage to your idiocy, well, move it on over.
  14. Let's see those trip reports

    Went to do Optimus Prime Sunday a.m. -- had 5 hours sleep; my partner had been up with his woman all night but apparently not fucking, go figure. he'd also done angel's crest the day before and had brought a whole entire litre and so his muscles were fried. -- got lost leaving road, yes, this is like 30 feet from path --found the route. did not find second half of first pitch, or second pitch. instead tried Barley's new project which will be cool, except for the fact that you need to be nine feet tall to clip some of the bolts (I am 6'2" with an ape of +6, you would think I could do it, but no) -- clusterf*ck rappelled back to middle of P1; found the "wide crack" which is full of dirt -- my partner led 2nd pitch; he got lost again, this despite having guidebook in his pack -- we finally found the route and in the baking sun I greased off the first of the 10c pitches. no wait, sorry, I sucked and can't climb, that's why I fell. as I fell for what seemed like ages my out of sight partner yelled up at me "DID YOU SAY TAKE OR SLACK? ARE YOU FALLING OR MOVING FAST?" -- p3 is spectacular, wild air-under-ass laybacking into weird chimney slot; jamming and more laybacking. i then got to downclimb and re-climb the pitch due to rope-drag, extracting full value from route. -- p4 is this cool weird flake leading to an overhanging stemming chimney, 10b, loads of fun. my partner wanted me to go faster, so with statements like "MY GIRLFRIEND HAS AN AMAZING ASS AND SPECTACULAR TITS, BUT THEY ARE IN VANCOUVER" he egged me on as I led up. -- gear beta. bring one camalot from .3" to 4", one set of nuts, one extra #1, and a non-hungover partner.
  15. Conditions at City of Rocks?

    you can climb on the sunny crags a couple of hours after rain. north facers need a day or so. good thing there's 8 billion routes there. you can also go to Castle Rock (20 min donw the road) where there is loads of sport climbing which dries quickly.
  16. great climbing quotes

    I was racking up in the Grand Wall parking lot once and this limo full of middle aged Yanks showed up. They got out with their binoculars and scanned the wall. One of the women came over to me and said "I know it's called 'rapelling' when they come down, but what do they call it when they go up?" * * * The following joke is elitist, traditionalist, homophobic, stupid, and in poor taste, and should therefore be neither read, nor told nor written by anybody. Q: How are sport climbing and getting your dick sucked by a guy the same? A: It feels great until you look down and realize you're a fag.
  17. Drew's autobiography!
  18. Fred Beckey's lost and found

    Drew Brayshaw climbs with him. he posts on here and on gripped.com as Dru.
  19. Overnighter(s) ruined

    Dude. Bummer. That sucks. Same thing happened to me-- all my climbing gear and clothes, plus my beloved guitar.
  20. best of cc.com Random Climbing Partner(s) Stories

    Yea! Unless one is cragging, bringing a cell phone or having evenign plans puts a damper on the day. It makes you not focus on where you are.
  21. best of cc.com Random Climbing Partner(s) Stories

    [you will need a Borat accent for this one] I went climbing with this Slavic dude. He had offered me a beer a few days before in the gym. I refused the beer. "Iss problem?" he said "Dude, it's Canada, in most places, it is not OK to drink beer." I was all psyched. I thought, OK I am with a hardman, fuck yeah, he drinks like a Valley dude, he is gonna haul my noob ass up some harder stuff. So we went to do this slab route on the Apron. He brought this massive pack. He led the first two bolts then came down and sent me up. I was scared shitless by the slab. When I brought him up, I smelled booze. "Een Czech Rrepubleek, we climb one peetch, we drreenk one beerr, allwayss. Iss problem?" Anyway, I quaked and shuddered up the slab route and by the time we got to the top the dude was emitting beer from all pores in a massive vaporous cloud and there was a clinking sound in his pack. "Chrriiss," he said, "iss wery niice cliiimb. Tank you wery muuch. Eef you liike, I sell you Rrussian climbing equeepment. WERY good price." And he hauled some cams out of his pack that looked like they'd been hand shaped out of rusted tin cans. "I'm all good," I told him. "But iss good equeepment. Iss problem?" We went to get coffee. In the coffeeshop, he asked the barista for a beer. "Um we don't like serve beer?" she said "Why not? Iss problem?"
  22. Climbing With Friends vs. Climbing Hard

    Fucking jump IN, my man! It's Squamish. The gear is plentiful and bomber, there's loads of cracks that overhang; away you go! The Great Game will push you; the Grand Wall has loads of good low 11 pitches with bomber gear. Do a BLuffs 10+/5.11 day-- Partners in Crime, Jangling Ball Wall, Red Nails, Crime. All have awesome gear. Stop worrying about onsights, go climb, have an experience, and lead tons of hard sport to get yoruself into shape.
  23. Climbing With Friends vs. Climbing Hard

    dru. what happened to your other 16,000 posts? "the greatest climber in the world is the one having the most fun" -- alex lowe
  24. VIMFF - Anybody go to the alpine evening?

    I liked House's very enthusiastic description of their route: "And then, MAN, we're gonna sh-sh-shoot up there, and get on those hangars, man". Kudos to the Gods of fast-and-light for hauling their camera along and using it.
  25. Digital Point and Shoot Rec's

    I've taken photos climbing for about 20 years. My second favorite camera of all time was an old Rollei 38mm-- it worked w/o batteries, was tiny and light, etc. The best was an Olympus 35mmautofocus point and shoot 28-80. It had a decent flash, was small and light, and could be operated with one gloved hand. Now I use a Canon I was given which is OK but far from best choice. I would look for the following features: a) a sliding cover that goes right over the lens (Canon S70 style). Cameras with finicky in-lens covers will get fucked up or frozen. b) As few features as possible. You will not use 95% of the crap on a digital (do you really need 17 specialised exposure modes?) and 95% of your shots will be on either auto-exposure or you will add/remove flash. c) A camera w/ viewfinder is essential-- those viewscreens can be a bitch in bright light-- and you don't want to be fiddling with the angle at which you view it. The best viewfinder I've yet seen was on a friend's Canon (S70 I think- black with big sliding front cover). IF the colours aren't suepr intense and bright, it will be a pain (my old Fuji was awful for this). d) BIG KNOBS cos often you are one-hand-handling it or using mitts. e) I like cameras that take AA bateries cos it's less of a pain to buy replacements when in middle of nowhere (eg Nepal) also you can swap AAs with others if necesary and les $$ than buying extra of your brand's proprietary battery. f) wideangle is more important than zoom. The best climbing shots are people pics mixed with landscape, so you need wideangle to get both close and far in. I'd vote for a 28mm bottom end over 35 mm. I carry mine on a soft cord around my neck, with a soft case attached to the camera. I can whip it out at belays, let it hang if I need to fiddle with the rope, etc, also it stays warm when ice climbing. The other useful tools for climbing photography are (a) hackysack-- a great cheap tripod and (b) a Reverso or other auto-locker: you will have way more opps for safe photos.
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