JGowans

The new NFL season gets underway tonight. Gotta admit that I'm excited. Go Seahawks!!!!

A good mate of mine lives in Venlo, Netherlands not too far from Hamburg. I'll be there no matter what. The question is whether my face will be painted orange or blue and white wearing my kilt

I don't need reminding that we're garbage thank you very much. The FIFA ranking system though to be honest is also out of whack. It's worse than the BCS system in college football.

That was what I was saying. You're talking about the same tournament (FIFA world cup qualifiers) but a different section (CONCACAF [sp.] versus UEFA). I just thought I'd get my dig in on the american sports anyway

Sorry Ian, but the World Cup (the one I'm referring to) is actually the biggest sporting event in world...bigger even than the Olympics. Needless to say, it's bigger than the three major American sports finals that crown a world champion yet are played only by American teams. I think you're referring to the american qualifying section of the same tournament anyway...

How do you know about the tartan army????

Bush Missed a Week During Kindergarten Boston, MA The Boston Globe today alleged to have uncovered evidence that shows President Bush had an unexcused absence during Kindergarten in March, 1948 and escaped any form of punishment for his errant ways. Rather than playing truant though, it seems that the President was on a skiing holiday with his family in Sun Valley, ID. Dorothy Ann Outzs, local curator of the Sun Valley historical museum in Hailey, ID claims to have seen Mr. Bush with his family during that fateful week in 1948. Her son, Les was the mountain manager at the time and specifically recalls the Bush family because they stuck out like a sore thumb in the valley full of Hollywood’s elite with their plastic gum boots and funny accents. The Boston Globe filed a suit under the Freedom of Information Act to have Sun Valley release ticket sales information from 1948 to verify whether or not the younger Bush was in fact playing hooky from kindergarten. Bush’s Kindergarten teacher from 1948, Mrs. Elsie Tanner, recalls Bush as a playful and mischievous child but cannot verify that Bush missed that week of class. Republicans were quick to quell rumors by releasing Bush’s report card from kindergarten that shows he fulfilled his obligations and was able to go on to K-1. Democrats claim that this latest indiscretion shows that Bush fraudulently obtained his graduation at elementary school, high school, and college because he should never have been allowed out of kindergarten. John Doe, a Democrat spokesman, claimed, “George Bush’s inadequate academic record shows that he did not place a premium as a five year old student and ought not to have been allowed to go onto ultimately university. His father’s influence undoubtedly enabled him to miss that week of class to go on a ski trip without having to complete any kind of detention or even writing lines on the balckboard. What does this say to the American electorate? Our own President cares little for education and we Americans are suffering as a result.” This latest storm is sure to bore the voters into a state of perpetual fucking catatonia as the networks duke it out in an effort to boost ratings. No comment was forthcoming from either Senator Kerry or Senator Edwards. AP.

Scotland 0 - Slovenia 0 -We're shite and we know we're shite. I wish they'd fuckin' fire Berti Vogts. What's a German doing coaching a bunch of Scots anyway? Poland 1 - England 2 - Lucky English bastards. My wife will be pissed off now too. Wales 2 - Rep. Ireland 2 - Quite a night in Cardiff. Three red cards and 4 goals. Switzerland 1 - N. Ireland 1 - Decent result for the Irish after the heavy defeat at the weekend.

Once thing I will say is that what's so wrong with offering easy ascents of local peaks? The majoirty of clients don't really know their arse from their elbow and likely wouldn't be climbing anything too hard anyway. A quick jaunt up The Tooth and a polaroid picture is probably enough for most of them. Just my 2 cents.

Most of you know I'm about as liberal as they come, but honestly, what has actions more than 30 years ago got to do with this election? - Answer: bugger all. All this shite where these dickhead candidates pretend to be something they're not to reach out to a miniscule amount of undecided voters is total piss. I wish each of them was principled and unwavering in what they stand for and let voters decide where their allegiance lies in spite of conflicting beliefs on certain issues. These two arses try to be something to everyone and in the end, they're nothing to no-one. There needs to be a mass overhaul of the american election system. That's our tax money their slinging around in stupid ads and it's a fucking waste. Gary Coleman for president!

I think so. Isn't this Scotteryx's business???

Was not inhabited by Argentinians. Already belonged to the Brits and they just made sure the Argies didn't forget. Not sure why they cared that much since it's full of sheep. wait a minute...anybody know how much a flight to Port Stanley costs?

Thanks for the tips. Next time I encounter a terrorist he'll not be so lucky. Btw, glad to see there's a modicum of decency in this forum and they deleted your graphic image. Tsk tsk. It was rather Michael Mooreesque in its shock value attempt.

Nice one mate!!! Best of luck. Give my best wishes to Nancy.

Me too but I live in America these days. Don't mess with my constitutional right!!!! You don't have any imi True dat.

Who? Kerry or me?

Me too but I live in America these days. Don't mess with my constitutional right!!!!

Are you talking to me?

Post deleted by Off_White

Beautiful. These arguments are being replicated all across the country while Dems and Reps take potshots at each other and drag the whole political process into the gutter. Whichever way you lean, there's no getting away from the fact that this election sucks. Two fraternities of middle aged white males acting out a drama over a period of months with nothing to be gained for anybody except themselves. Politics suck.

In addition to claiming expert knowledge in combat thousands of miles away, I am also a self-confessed armchair mountaineer. Does that make me twice as bad? Keep the insults flowing...it makes the day go faster.

I see you're having a good day and in fine form. Good stuff. Careful you don't pop a vein in your neck or something.

Kerry Yawns at Rally Nashville, TN During a Nashville Democratic Rally for Senator John Kerry, Senator Kerry appeared to yawn during remarks by his running mate John Edwards. Local resident, Billy Joe Johnson, 42, recalled the incident with animated shock, “I was listening to John Edwards talk about Two Americas and his dad working in some mill when all of a sudden, John Kerry opened his mouth and started to yawn. He tried to disguise it by clamping his mouth shut, but everybody could see that his jaw muscles were straining. I was undecided before today, but I’m going to vote for President Bush now. I can’t ever see myself voting for a man that yawns during his guy’s speech.” Kerry tried to downplay the incident by suggesting that he was merely exercising his upper and lower mandible before his own remarks but when confronted by television footage, he later said that perhaps he was stifling a nervous yawn most often seen by top athletes prior to big events. Scott McLellan, Republican Spokesman, stated, “This latest issue will not sit well with American voters. Despite Kerry’s millions and privileged background, his parents obviously failed to instill common manners and this cuts to the very core of our platform on family values. How can anyone vote in good conscience for a man who doesn’t cover his mouth when yawning? Moreover, the fact that he yawned during his own running mate’s speech can only further strengthen our belief that the democratic platform is both boring and irrelevant in today’s vibrant economy.” For Billy Joe Johnson, Kerry’s apparent flip-flop on the now notorious yawn is the last straw, “John Kerry served well in Vietnam or so I though until I saw those ads, and now he’s flipping and flopping worse than a catfish on a hook. There ain’t no way this country should elect somebody with no manners.” A Gallup poll conducted after the rally with Nashville constituents suggested that voters are evenly divided on Kerry’s faux pas. AP.

Kerry Criticizes Bush’s Wanking Boston, MA. A group calling themselves Privileged Adolescent Wankers For Truth today sought to cast doubt on President Bush’s ability to govern for another four years by launching a critical ad campaign focusing on President Bush’s wanking prowess during his freshman year at Yale. The ad claims that President Bush was a wanker of average ability with no less or no more reproductive capabilities than the roughly teaspoonful norm. John Doe, a Yale classmate of Bush explained, “For the past four years we’ve had to endure President Bush’s Wild West swagger and his big swinging dick being thrown around like a Texas gusher all over the Middle East. The reality is that he’s very averagely endowed and during our Yale Fraternity Circle Jerks, Mr. Bush displayed no greater aptitude for wanking than the rest of us. Sure, it was quite a feat that he was able to ejaculate anything at all given that he used to drink those big goldfish bowl cocktails like there was no tomorrow, but we were all at it then. That perpetual smirk on his face suggests that he’s walking around with a package bigger than Ron Jeremies and that just isn’t the case. Voters need to know that when they go to the booth in November, they are potentially voting for what can only be described as a very average candidate.” Scott McLellan, Republican Spokesman commented on the brouhaha by stating, “The President is very proud of his accomplishments as a budding wanker in Yale. He never claimed that he was a bigger wanker than anyone else, and this is just another attempt by democratic special interest groups funded by soft money to smear and besmirch the President by calling into question his virility. Voters will see through this veneer and elect President Bush in November knowing that he is in fact a dedicated proponent of Tantra love making and in full control of his shwerve.” Latest polls suggest that women favor the softer side of President Bush while men are losing faith in a president once thought of as a champion wanker. AP.

Kerry Farts in Public Republicans today accused Senator John Kerry of farting in public. Democrats vigorously refuted the allegations. Democratic spokesman, John Doe says, “The right wing faction in our political tapestry appear hell bent on deflecting criticism from President Bush by any means necessary. To suggest that Senator Kerry farted in public is slanderous. Everyone who knows Senator Kerry can vouch that after a spicy curry or a heaping of baked beans, he’s the first to pardon his momentary absence to perform some minor ablutions and take care of pending flatulence.” Scott McLellan, Republican Spokesman, responded by implying that Senator Kerry’s apparent stink bomb is yet another reason for voters to side with President Bush, “Once again, Senator Kerry has given voters a reason to doubt his capacity to be Commander in Chief. Knowing that a fart was on its way, he could have simply excused himself and taken care of it quietly. However, he chose to let it rip in public much to the consternation of those standing by. This merely highlights Senator Kerry’s blatant disregard for the common man and is a striking metaphor for his policies to come if he were ever elected.” A recent Zogby poll suggests that older voters find this latest issue to be unfavorable to Senator Kerry while younger voters tend to favor Senator Kerry’s laissez faire attitude to bodily functions.