johnny_destiny

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. People ask (when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000) whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." The choir is known as the "OK Chorale." Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory. Baptism is referred to as "branding." There is a special fundraiser for a new church septic tank. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. The baptismal fount is a #2 galvanized washtub. The choir robes were donated by and embroidered with the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue. The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

anyone say lice

I hate seeing that pretentious cockwad period. He's such an obvious wannabee intellectual that only a fucking retard would listen intently to his horseshit. I can only hope that he pulls that spastic jerky neck movement while skiing and slams into a tree like Sonny Bono. That way, his ecological "belief" that trees clean up pollution will be proven beyond a doubt, and we'll be one less hemorrhoid huffer to suffer through.

This is pretty amazing http://www.thecia.net/users/stewarte/apachehits.mpg

Know what we do then? Let them starve and rot in their homeland and cut off all immigration status for anyone with that ethnic origin or country status. I am sick and tired of all the BS of playing around and kissing ass of other nations. Fuck 'em. Alternative fuels are here the only problem is our system. We are not ready to say lets switch to the alternative and say FUCK YOU to OPEC! Wish I could volunteer to say and . Fuck the OPEC nations!

Hell HR, I say we trade medical supplies, food and contraceptives for oil. If they want to stay healthy, eat then let’s deal other wise let them die and starve to death. Contraceptives are for us so we can cut back on their growing numbers. Let them fuck, but cut out the little terrorists to yet born. And for all you bleeding hearts THIS IS NOT A TROLL ITS HOW I FEEL AND OPERATE

Very well stated Dave. I have no gripe with skiiers or boarders with good manners and having a set of balls. The boarders and skiiers with balls, beginner, intermediate or expert at least try to do the line in style. Its the timid beginner and flailing intermediate of both species that causes one to check his or her nerves and mouth so one does not enter into a pugilistic event for the get go.

Good shit tele nut!

I guess the Canadians could of financially afforded a few more hockey teams. Canada's Coin Stash Is Last Hurdle in Gold-Sale Plan (Update1) Feb. 4 (Bloomberg) -- Canada's gold reserves have been reduced to a pile of loose change. After more than two decades of what the Finance Department describes as ``gradual and controlled'' selling, Canada became the first member of the Group of Seven industrialized nations to sell all of its gold bullion when the last of its 20.9 million ounces left the Bank of Canada in December. That leaves the central bank with 100,000 ounces of gold coins in reserves. And the Canadian government, which wants to complete a plan to clean the gold out of its Ottawa vaults, is unsure what to do with them. ``It's a different market than bullion,'' Finance Department spokeswoman Andree Houde said in an interview. ``What we decide to do can affect the value of the coins held by gold collectors.'' Canada has been selling off its gold reserves for almost 25 years, replacing them with assets that generate income, such as international bonds. The 21 million ounces of gold it had at the outset would be worth about $8.4 billion at current prices. The federal government has made $13 billion selling its gold and investing the proceeds, Houde said. The G-7's other members - - the U.S., Japan, Germany, the U.K., France and Italy -- still hold bullion. Gold Standard Until 1971, when Former President Richard Nixon ended the ``gold standard,'' the value of the U.S. dollar was backed by the U.S. government's gold reserves. Countries such as New Zealand, Israel and Oman have since cleaned out their vaults of gold, according to the World Gold Council. Canada dropped its gold standard in 1931 and began selling its reserves in 1980. Gold reached a record $850 an ounce that January, then dropped as low as $252.55 in August 1999. Bullion has since climbed back to about $400. ``The policy is still on,'' Houde said. ``The difference is that additional factors have to be considered.'' Houde declined to discuss the face value of the coins, their condition, or give any description, saying such information was commercially sensitive. That makes it impossible to assess the value of the cache, and the effect the release of 100,000 ounces would have on coin prices, coin dealers contacted by Bloomberg News said. Price Declines Feared Cameron Bevers, who runs Colonial Acres Coins in Kitchener, Ontario, said he knows of only two types of coins the government could hold as reserves. The most likely would be the so-called Maple Leaf coins issued annually for the past 25 years by the Royal Canadian Mint, the government-owned coin maker. Collectors have little interest in them outside their gold value, Bevers said in a telephone interview. Alternatively, the government may have retained some of the 675,000 C$5 and C$10 gold coins minted between 1912 and 1914 to back the country's paper currency, said Bevers. A C$10 piece from 1914 might be worth C$1,000 to a collector, even though its gold value is only about C$250. ``I'd be annoyed,'' if the government suddenly released a large quantity of those coins, said Bevers, 29, who has been collecting since 1985 and dealing since 1991. ``If I was holding lots of them, it would be devastating.'' Some Favor Melting Bevers said it's unlikely the Bank of Canada has much in the way of foreign gold coins, since there are so many of them in circulation that the government wouldn't be concerned with the impact of sales on market values. Houde declined to say when the government might offer the coins for sale. Canada also is considering options such as melting down the coins and selling them as bullion, she said. The 100,000 ounces in coins would have a bullion value of almost $40.2 million at today's gold price in New York of $401.70 an ounce. Calgary dealer Robert Kokotailo favors that alternative, saying he doubts the government holds coins of value to collectors. If it does, and decided to sell them, his clients would be hurt, Kokotailo said. ``Could they be holding gold sovereigns from the early period?'' he asked in a telephone interview from his shop, Calgary Coin Gallery. ``If they are, that could cause a problem in the market for collectors of those coins.'' To contact the reporter on this story: Kevin Carmichael in Ottawa at kcarmichael@bloomberg.net. To contact the editor of this story: Erik Schatzker at eschatzker@bloomberg.net. Last Updated: February 4, 2004 16:26 EST

Ya happy birthday Mr. President(ret). I hope your fight with Alzheimer's is short. I had a good friend get this disease;it's not a pretty thing to witness take over the body and mind.

MOSCOW - A huge explosion blasted apart a subway car packed with morning rush hour commuters Friday, killing 39 people and wounding more than 130 in what some officials said was a suicide attack on the Russian capital's transport lifeline. President Vladimir Putin drew a connection between the blast and Chechen rebels whom Russian troops have been fighting for most of the last decade, and said the blast appeared aimed at sowing discord ahead of next month's presidential elections. There was no immediate claim of responsibility for the blast, but Chechen insurgents are blamed for a series of suicide bombings in Moscow and elsewhere in Russia. The blast came just three weeks after one of Chechnya's most feared warlords threatened new attacks in Russia. Moscow's subway system - the world's busiest with an average 8.5 million passengers a day - has long been seen as especially vulnerable to terrorism. Police routinely stop people in the stations who have Chechen or North Caucasus appearance, but cheek-by-jowl crowds during much of the day make thorough surveillance impossible. The Interfax news agency cited unnamed police officials as saying that a suicide bombing was the "main working version" of the subway attack, which was the deadliest terrorist blast to hit the capital since Russia launched its second war in Chechnya. Police have a videotape of a woman suspected of being the attacker and her alleged accomplice standing on platform at the Avtozavodskaya subway station before boarding the train; the explosion tore through the train about 500 meters after it left the station en route to the city center. Throwing some doubt on the theory of a suicide bombing, Deputy Moscow Mayor Valery Shantsev said that investigators had not found metal shrapnel, which usually fills suicide bombers' explosives. He said that the bomb had likely been in an attache case or rucksack on the floor of the subway car. Deputy Interior Minister Alexander Chekalin told reporters that 39 people were killed and 134 wounded, including 113 who were admitted to hospital. Putin linked the attack to Aslan Maskhadov, who was elected Chechen president after Russian forces withdrew in 1996 at the end of a disastrous 20-month war against separatist rebels. He said that calls for negotiations Maskhadov after such attacks "are indirectly confirming that Maskhadov is linked to these bandits and terrorists." "We know for sure that Maskhadov and his bandits are linked to this terror," he said. Maskhadov's foreign envoy, Akhmed Zakayev, denied the involvement of Maskhadov, who has been in hiding in recent years. Warlord Shamil Basayev has claimed to have masterminded some of the most recent terrorist acts in Russia and in January a web site that is a rebel mouthpiece cited him as declaring that more attacks were in the works. It is unclear whether Maskhadov holds influence over Basayev and his fighters. Putin, who is expected to win the March 14 presidential elections handily, has built much of his strong image on a firm refusal to negotiate with the Chechen rebels. He reiterated that position Friday and said the blast appeared intended to "put pressure on the head of state." Moscow deputy mayor Vladimir Shantsev said the blast was equivalent to 5 kilograms (11 pounds) of TNT. It shattered windows throughout the train and left the targeted car a hulk of twisted metal. Photos of the car showed a few bodies still sitting side-by-side on the seats, covered in soot. Other bloodstained bodies, their clothes torn, lay alongside the tracks. More than 700 people were evacuated, the ITAR-Tass news agency reported, citing metro staff. "I heard a loud sound like a large firecracker and smoke filled the car," said Ilya Blokhin, 31, a doctor who was on the train's next-to-last car - several cars away from the blast. "What are our country and government and police going to do when they blow up crowded subway cars?" A woman identified only as Maria, blood covering her face, told Russian television that for a long time after the explosion, passengers were unable to open the door of the subway car. After finally prying open the door, she said they walked a long distance out of the tunnel. U.S. President George W. Bush phoned Putin to express condolences, and U.S. Ambassador Alexander Vershbow said the United States was ready to offer assistance if requested. Condemnations also poured in from European capitals and former Soviet republics. In December, a suicide bomber blew herself up outside the National Hotel across from Moscow's Red Square, killing at least five bystanders. Two suicide bombers blew themselves up at a Moscow rock concert last July, killing themselves and 14 other people. Five days later, an aborted suicide bomb attack at a central Moscow restaurant killed a disposal expert who was trying to defuse the bomb. A bombing in a Moscow subway car in June 1996 killed four people and in August 2000, a bomb exploded at a crowded pedestrian underpass filled with kiosks at Pushkin Square, the site of three metro stations. The deadliest terrorist bombings to hit Moscow occurred in fall 1999, when more than 150 people were killed in two apartment house blasts. Those explosions were among the events instigating Russian forces to launch the second military campaign in Chechnya. In October 2002, 129 hostages died when Chechen rebels stormed a Moscow theater, almost all from the knockout gas that Russian forces pumped into the theater to end the siege. --- On the Web: Information on the Moscow subway system - http://www.urbanrail.net/eu/mos/moskva.htm

where its marked 60mph and 75 if its marked 70. In town I go the posted limit or a wee bit slower to avoid problems with bicycles and pedestrians. Yellow lights I slow and stop dead on red. Waiting for that BIG LUX car to hit me for the big bucks.

Good read. Most of it settles in the stomach. My only take on one of the points mentioned is: THE lack of food in poorly developed nations. The powers to be send lots of aid to these countries as well as individuals that WANT to help them become self-proficient, so they themselves go to these countries to teach well drilling, maintenance of pumps, the use of a central area for human waste, the planting of crops that will yield a reliable food source, etc. What do these "newly educated" people in the undeveloped nations do after the WELL meaning people leave? They go back to their old habits and forget the things they are taught. That is what they do. They see no future in following the example shown by their mentors. Instead they slump back to their old ways. So here is my take. Let the developing nations produce crops and sell them to the under developed nations for a profit. That way these newly developing nations can start getting their economy on track and become more self sufficient than they are now. There by removing the developed nations from the cluster fuck.

hey Arlen go suck some infected donkey dick you fucking pussy. if you are really a southern boy I guess you are a catamite

Hey fuckwad. I was born and raised in rural North Louisiana. I know as well as you do that there are more than a few ignorant white boys, your sorry ass included, that feel it's their right to maintain race-based privilege and hide it behind any legitimizing façade they can think of. That you picked the lamest of excuses--romantic fantasies of the confederacy--indicates that you're about the stupidest bigot I've encountered since I left the South. Two more things. Learn to spell, ass sucker. And make no mistake that I'm flaming your racist ass as myself, you dumb fuck. arlen,arlen,arlen YOU SOUND AS IF YOU HAVE SOME ISSUES. Better go draw some more forks on your family tree. hahaha You dumb fucking bastard you actually sound like you are from LA, but looise anne will do. hahahaha

If only the rest of the rest of you racist cowards would leave the South and go stink up another state, it'd have a chance at regaining its reputation for Be Sweet good manners. Until then, It’s too bad you are such an opinioned jerk. If you actually new any "real" Southerns (black and white) you would know that the vast majority of Southern citizens are not racist, but apparently you hold those feelings since you express them as someone else’s.

Dutch, it appears to me that the Great State of Alaska is the Northern Home of large number of Southerners. They give Alaska the charm and warmth of good old Southern manners and living. Kurt, from your statement I believe you have reservations of your own academic ability to compete with a Southern Arborist

Just finished a great book by James Carlos Blake "Wildwood BOYS". Oh, Im a good old rebel, that's what I am. And for this Yankee nation I don't give a damn. I'm glad I fought against it, I only wish we'd won. And I don't want no pardon for anything I've done. http://www.missouridivision-scv.org/camp1743.htm As my grandpappy used to say... "Southern by birth right, United States citizen by choice".

You are either one of the better trollers on this site or you rode on the little school bus. DFB

Do some squats, leg extensions, etc. in other words gal work out and you won't have to worry about the boots being stiff enough to do the job correctly.

Marylou and McDermott must be drinking from the same spicket.

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART I What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan. SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING UP!) What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great Stuff) Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong" What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

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Muffy, I perfer the alpha female. You get a better ride.