Dr_Flash_Amazing

Don't suppose we'll see your Junior Alpine Hero firing Realization or Witness the Fitness any time soon, hmm? Mountains, schmountains.

"hangin' from a bird's nest...by your fingahnails...a million feet above some pointy boulders"

Awww, cute. It's like Chris Sharma with crampons!

Shit was hard, yo! Try, flail, fail, try, flail, try, fail, go home. Come back, try, flail, try, fail, try, succeed! Try something else, flail, try, fail, go home. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Still works!

DFA usually holds off on any preemptive bad-day assessments until he finds 13 goat heads in a circle of black candles on his front stoop, and a pentagram drawn in blood on the front door. Even two out of three is usually not enough to warrant staying home, although tripping over a pile of goat heads and spilling your morning coffee is a real bitch.

It is Dr. Flash Amazing's professional opinion that the above iteration of your sentence better conveys the intended message.

Welcome to the road to injury! Let us know what overuse injury you get first!

The fat virus, even! CDC projection of post-pushup contest outcome in the event of floor-borne fat virus encounter:

Runny, runny mortar! Trowel?

Sunny, sunny SoCal.

Close the pod bay door, HAL.

Why has Pat Robertson not yet called on God to strike this liar dead with a hurricane? George W. Bush is a fucking idiot, any way you slice it. At the very least, he should be in jail, perhaps sharing a cell with his pal Saddam.

Crush a mime, and a gasp will follow.

Recycled saline bags? Sweeeeeet.

preposterous slight

Seems like making 5-year bets over the internet for a hundred dollars is a lame idea. But, suit yourself.

Who do you do?

Couldn't you just let this crap thread die, you stupid cock?

Is it just DFA, or is this the lamest dork-brain idea ever? Like, elementary school, lunchboxes-and-comic books, my-dad-can-beat-up-your-dad lame.

zin 'n' snoose

Ah, yes, at the esteemed Kentucky Institute of Poultry Science. Check with HR in the Weights and Measures Bureau.

fries 'n' tonic

How about that Ron Kauk new-age nature-fluff bit in the middle of Dosage Vol. 3? Definitely not what you want in the middle of a showcase of cutting edge climbing sickness.

Get a fuckin' Grigri, already.