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Cletus

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Everything posted by Cletus

  1. Just the facts, sir. Got up early and headed up to do the classic south climb of South Sister, the beautiful volcanic peak that rises nearly 7,000 vertical feet above the central Oregon desert, with my usual partner-in-crime Gapertimmy. This is the mountain I stare at every morning, and the peak behind which the sun sets every night. Besides the great descents it offers on many of its faces, I love the fact that I can start climbing it an hour after I roll out of bed, summit, ski, and be home for a late lunch. That does not, in the wise words of Shane McConkey, suck. We left the trailhead around 5:30am, climbing quickly up the Devil’s Lake gulch to the flats above Moraine Lake. By 7:30am, we were at the base of climb itself. A mere hour later and we were already up near the ridgeline that we would eventually follow to the summit. Light clouds had stuck around longer than expected, burning off only very slowly, so we pulled over in a protected saddle, and chewed the fat for a while. When the fat was sufficiently tender, we then strapped our skis on the packs, and headed up the final slopes. Gapertimmy, with Broken Top’s west face in the background 10:30am and we’re on top; the clouds have burned off to the south, the sun has come out for the last 30 mins, and my pee off the summit cornice is clear and copious. Our timing was perfect. You want chestbeating? Lemme give you some more. PERFECT. View of Middle and North Sister from point of clear and copious urination P E R F E C T Never before have I hit the descent on a route as long as this so superbly in the middle of the window of perfection. We clicked in at 10:45a, and screamed down 4,000 vertical feet of 25-35 degree straight-like-buttah just-softened-but-not-in-the-slightest-bit-grabby-liquid-summer-ecxtasy. Slurpieeeeeeeeeez. Not the usual crispy-on-top, good-in-the-middle, slushy-at-the-bottom nonsense. Nope, no sirree. For 4,000 vertical feet, it was two inches of smoothness on a soft but progressively firmer base. Thank you, come again! The Route We both smooshed our way down the top 1,500ft or so, and then Gapertimmy broke skier’s left to puff from the big open bowl while I followed the intermediate ridgeline skier’s right and hit the big funnelly chute between the rocks in the center of the slope, a variation that hasn’t been in any time I’ve ever been up to ski the mountain before. And it proved to be one of the coolest lines I may have ever skied. It’s hard to tell from looking at it, but there was actually a lot of shape and depth in the chute. I came down the ridgeline, and rolled over into the chute expecting a nice 35 degree pitch. Instead I found myself dropping down the side of a tilted halfpipe, banking turns off the walls to control my speed, and careening back and forth like I was in a bobsled course. It was fukkin cool, and it was fast as sh!t too. The mountain spit me out of the chute through one of the little channels of snow at the bottom, like a baby being delivered by a MILF ready to get back to weighing 120lbs and wearing sporto lycra. In fact, Tim had to spank my ass because I wasn’t breathing either. Cletus’ Chute a.k.a. The Uterus After running out the rest of the low angle slopes below, we stopped to pat ourselves on the back, grab a Scooby snack, and then hightail it back across the flats and to the car. The snow was sticky enough so as not to require skins, but not so slushy that we wallowed in the slightest. A scant few minutes later, and we had skied all the way back to the road, and were headed down to town to totally effen pig out at the fab all you-can-eat Indian buffet that recently opened in town. FKNA, chubbed that too. Went home, passed out, and woke up three hours later. So officer, you see, I couldn't have been the peeping tom in the Central Oregon Community College women's showers at 3 pm. I was fast asleep. And that's the facts, nothing more.
  2. TR: South Sister May 31st

    Oh yes, and big smiles at the bottom. This must have been right after he spanked me.
  3. Green Lakes Plabfest?

    I'll have my pics tomorrow! Halle Berre on skis in bikini...mmm.... I like Charlize too...she's #1, I think... but I digress
  4. Green Lakes Plabfest?

    PLAB PLAB PLAB PLAB UBERPLAB smiffy climbing sisters slogging supurb corn skiing scrumptious scrambled eggs scarfing Good shizzy man, thanks for the good weekend. Your little Sierradawg is psychotic, and Halle B. is hot hot hot!
  5. Green Lakes Plabfest?

    worried about temps Jeffy? no, not as long as it's freezing overnight and you're willing get up butt early in the morning!
  6. Green Lakes Plabfest?

    damn straight So, it's on!! Fri eve in, Sat ski, either Sat eve or Sunday morning/mid-day out... What's the final list look like? Timmay Becky 2 puppies Cletus Schralper Nonanon + 1 b-rock cj? Iain? others? I guess it don't much matter... We'll be up somewhere a bit above Green Lakes. Timmay you know, of course, and will have his lady and their puppies with them. I am 6'3", have big muscles, long blond hair (down to my sculpted ass), and answer to the name Fabio. See you out there!
  7. Devil's lake parking?

    you're joking right? you did see the 3 other threads on this forum which mentioned that there is parking off the road near DL trailhead, right? right???
  8. We parked on the road right at the bend by DL trailhead. There was enough room, just. 4 or 5 other cars had done likewise by the time we returned. Get out there and enjoy!
  9. FKNA dood. That was a SWEET way to kick off my June, which is sure to be choss-full (er...chock-full) of days just like that. Our timing was so friggin plab I can't even believe how perfect the snow was, in, up, down, out. Cold on the approach, perfect for the climb, smooth for the descent, and not sticky yet for the tour out! Chestbeaters unite, we rocked that shizzy! Thank YOU for a great day. I'll have my pics back at the end of the week, and will surely post them!
  10. Green Lakes Plabfest?

    excellent! we'll discuss shasta and others... how's class? chatted with your babe last night for a bit, tried to meet her and Jessica up at the mountain for my last lift served turns, but I slept in and must have missed them. Went tele style - fun. But I GOTTA fixmy boots. Could barely stand after a few laps. Something wrong with the arches. Misformed thermoflex lines maybe. Anyhew... I'm off to CO for some adventuring...will post pics if I can, mid week-ish...
  11. Cascade Lakes Highway

    Is open today. I assume that means for the weekend for sure, and probably for the summer!
  12. Green Lakes Plabfest?

    hey timmay, I think I can make this! (Shockingly). It works well into my other vague plans...thinking Shasta June 1ish with some Tahoe doods, South Sista +Broken Top with you and any of these plabbers 6-8th, Adams SW Chutes 14th ish with Ross if I can drag him out of Ketchum, maybe you or solo else... Hmm, and that's only the first half of June. Damn, I luuv summer volcano season!! Let's make this shizzy happen on the 6-8th!
  13. stickers?

    All Spray All Day Ropes Are Aid
  14. What do you think of this setup?

    I'll try hard not to call all these fine cc.comers pussies, but that being said... I'm on Denalis, Freerides and 10.EXs for all around b/c and volcano skiing. I've happily hiked in (part dirt, part snow) to the base of the SW Chutes of Adams from the Morrison Creek trailhead, and then gotten up the next morning, put crampons on them, and french stepped my way up the crunchy yumminess, only to click in, edge the rimey top (good control with those boots!), carve the softening middle, and surf the slushy bottom. The assertion that you can't hike in stiffer AT boots or can't crampon properly is a donkey dick lie . I admit, it's not as compfy as a mountaineering boot, and no, you can't move your ankle as much, and yes, I wouldn't try mixed climbs in them. But put a Thermofit liner in there, and they can be used for just about any one day ski descent we mortals might want to do. Not saying that I'm all tough or anything either - I'm a big baby, and gapertimmay can vouch for that. Not saying you should do multi-day stuff in them. But if you're looking for an AT boot that gives you the closest feel to an alpine boot yet still allows touring and hiking... I think you're on the right track. The ONLY caution I have is that the XT has a more forward lean, and is slightly stiffer than the red Denalis. That could, I do admit, make a difference... P.S. I have, actually, heard really good things about the latest Dynafit AT boot, but I had a shoddy experience with Dynafit bindings once, and tend to be unfairly biased against all of their stuff as a result.
  15. mundaze

    hey, no blood no foul. There was no $$ associated with the ticket, so who cares?? Still, it was kind of uncalled for. You should go take some laps into Outback before it gets too warm...
  16. mundaze

    FKNA! Sweet stuff timmay. Great way to start a workday. Cool pic too, makes it look like I can actually ski. -C-
  17. Ha!

    Timmay and I got freshies today. So there. 6 inches of new at Bachy in the last two days. Woo-hoo!
  18. Ha!

    SWEET TIMMAY! So, how about tomorrow morning????? Hmmmm?????? [erik]CALL ME OKAY AND WE WILL GET FRESHIES TOMORROW IF YOU WANT ILL BRING THE HERB SOUND GOOD? PEACE[/erik]
  19. Oregon Morning

    FUKKIN A DOOD, KILLER PIC! Great morning mang. Hell of a way to start today. Sorry I had to run like that, mini-crisis averted now. Bitchy client needed 10 minutes of my attention largely because they couldn't think for themselves for once, but did it bother me? Noooooo, because I had such a stellar morning shredding the pow pow (POW POW) with my homie. Woo muthafukkin hoo!
  20. Ha!

    What's funny here is that a) I am from Colorado originally, and b) I was chestbeating and trolling for sure. I dunno, just needed to spray, I guess. Incidentally, Timmay and I got freshies again this morning. Ha! So there.
  21. 2 weeks and counting till Hood River!!!

    Come down to Bend and Smiffy Rox, and you can get great teaching from the one and only Gapertimmy himself! Only 1.5 hours south from Hood River!!!
  22. Adams South Spur 5/17

    oh no, check that, gonna be in Philly that weekend. Sorry. Raincheck on the three-way though?
  23. Adams South Spur 5/17

    yeah, I might be, but only if you and your girl promise to sandwich me at night. You know, for warmth and all. Uhh..
  24. Bend Bouldering

    oh fo shizzy we crizzank! so, dood, you wanna go bowling later? heh. Yeah, gansta, give us a holler when you git into town.
  25. Tumalo Turns Today

    Pics from Tam McArthur! The Venue (Clickable for super size) Timmay, all spray, all day Freshieeeeeeeeez! Timm@ys Turns.
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