sk

Bug, i find that my relationship with cc.com goes in phases. I certinly don't have the time to post that i used to... part of that is that i don't want to have that kind of time on the computer. we all go through changes. I am not as harsh as i used to be on this site. mostly becuase i don't have to be. maybe what is going isn't that cc.com is too harsh, perhpas it is that your interests are just else where. I miss being more than an outsider here. but it isn't worth my time to try to keep us any more. i check in, i read what interests me and i leave the rest. ~Muffin

2nd that! I 3rd that!!!

I strongly disagree with this. Pain is an important emotion and a powerful teacher. I read a study once that said most people will put more effort into avoiding pain than in persuing pleasure. It is an evolutionary thing and makes sense from that standpoint. However, in a day where we can make choices, I choose not to avoid things, people, situations in order to protect myself from pain. When I go through painful moments I take care to pay attention to them. I agree with Archie, if you go throuhg life trying to protect yourself you will miss half the good stuff. i think the other option is to recognize that no matter how much some one hurts you emotionaly you will love again if you choose to. That is not to say i will start dating a man with a reputation as a player and a lair. but i will risk my heart on a man or woman who seems worthy and who will take the time to get to know me.

Going by Muffy's definition, the lesser of two evils was to "cheat"? I am a little confused by this. what are you getting at?

sometime loving someone is learning to love them in the flawed state they are in. we all have weaknesses, we all make mistakes and have transgressions. Coming from a relationship mired in infidelity (yep those are my folks) i never understood how my mother could stand it. so much so that after my divorce i never thought i would fall in love again let alone be in a long term relationship again. I think the key to a relationship working is loving all you can love. if that person is willing to give you some love back you will continue to love. if they wont eventually you will run out of love and move on.

I know of at least one couple that survived the loss of their 32-year-old daughter. I know several couples that have survived both difficulties (loss of offspring and infidelity). One of the worst: Dave and Rita were traveling to one of their parents' homes in Evergreen with their three kids, ages 8, 10, and 11. When they arrived, all three children, who had been sleeping in the camper in the back of the truck, were unconscious. A nightmare ensued of all the adults trying to revive the three for 45 minutes until an ambulance could arrive. None of the kids survived. Dave and Rita stayed together for fifteen more years, having two more kids, until Rita succumbed to cancer. dear god i do not think i would have survived that. wow. heart wrenching for sure.

I've known of more than one relationship similar to what you describe that didn't last. It seemed that, over time, when it came to the "redefining" part, they couldn't agree. I think that what most people miss is that just becuase a couple leave a possablity open, that does not mean they have to take it. I know a couple who have a rule that they can do anything they want to as long as they are honest about it. for the past 20 years neither of them has met anyone they wanted to tell thier partner they wanted to sleep with. The similuare holds true in my relationship. Just becuase the door is open does not mean there will ever be a need to walk through. If we do and one of us does not like it we will then have to re-evaluate. thats the only way a relationship can work for me.

it only works for us in certain circumstances. there are rules and there should be. I think the mistake most people make is not defining the boundaries of their relationship before making the commitment. and then they forget to continue to redefine as they grow and change. I think that is why many marriages and relationships don't work. you have to continue to tend your common ground.

Define "cheated" for me. Includes while engaged? Pre-engagement? Doing two girls at the same time, but not in the same room? Just need some clarification there before I throw down. I have a definition for cheating. any conversation interaction or physical activity you would not have in front of and with the full knowledge of your partner. anything that is a secret from your partner breaks down the trust you share. for me the promise that i need to hear is not "I will never have sex with another woman" there are many instances when my partner having sex with another woman is welcome and encouraged. the promise i need to hear is "I will never lie to you or keep from you that which you have the right to know"

That is along the lines of where i am in my life. I have someone in my life that i would like to spend the rest of my life with. we have talked about marriage. but neither of us feel the need to get married. Most of the long term relationships i am around ( 2 of our 3 closest couples) are not married. they have been together 17 and 20 years respectively. it is the long term i want. not the paper. having the paper doesn't keep someone around when it is the wrong person. and it shouldn't. the only way you know it is the right person is if you keep allowing yourself to ask that question. i struggle with this. often. someday i will stop struggling.

We had a great trip!!! ate at Mikes Chilie Parlour!!! it was AWSOME!!! then we spent the rest of the day in Ballard hanging with Marry Lou who was sweet enough to show us around and entertain us for the day on Saturday. It was Beautiful sunny and warmish. Hope you all had a great weekend too

Well that sounds promising :moondance:

TJ's friends live on Bainbridge. this is a non climbing meet the friends from college weekend. so i am getting liqured up

I always knew you guys only like me cus i put out

will do!! I am totaly GIDDY. I have not been out of eugene in AGES!!!

i have been trying to pick up road biking but it requires me to buy new expensive gear taht i know nothing about. waht i loved about climbing is that i could drop 20 to 300% at a time spread out over time. road biking is expensive all at one time... I will bike... eventualy.

Raindog, you know me so well. altough i wouldn't ask you to buy my hunny beers. he can buy his own

I totaly didn't even consider it was easter... I don't celebrate so it didn't occure maybe anther time sickie

do you know anywhere there is good BBQ??? BBQ chicken is one of my FAVES!!!

We are Staying in on Bainbridge island. but intent to spend as much time as we can down town. I am thinking about highjacking saturday afternoon and insisting we hike mt si rain or shine but we shall see. The cheese stake place is called 5 points diner...... i don't know wehre it is. OMG they have a 5 Pint Muff :moondance: I haven't even been there and there is a food najmed after me is it wrong that i want to eat 6 meals a day while we are there? man the food here is so limited. don't get me wrong we have some great restraunts... just not very many of them.

easter bunny playboy bunny... it's all the same to me

I will put that on the list of maybees. thanks bug

I do that cus i generaly cant get the helmet IN My pack. but i am the worlds worst packer and have been known to make those anal people weep becuase of my disorganization.

ummm i have sat on my pack slept on my pack. dropped my pack from higher than i like to admit... if sitting on your pack is abuse i think i am going to jail... IT"S GEAR i go through mine in the summer more often than i do in the winter. if my rope is wet i will hang it... if my pack is wet i will hang it. I go over everything every once in a while to make sure nothing is too worn out to use. more like Ivan more spastic than anal.