Cairns

I'm a cragger. Was mountaineering created in a big bang? An immaculate conception? A lizard jumping off a bush? Forget your students. Add sticky rubber, Friends, beta, Messner, etc., and get yourself a script writer and start doing story boards. Make the world understand climbing.

Toys In The Attic - UW Rock continues to amuse. It is scary to think that 20+ years after my first visit I could still be down there, saying, "I've got this new problem..." Actually, I do. I will send it as an attachment from home base, tomorrow. That Rainbow Coalition Traverse looks a lot like a Bryan Burdo creation, despite my name on it in the Smoot guide.

Those are impressive efforts to return to the natural terrain of the 8-yr old. Frogs, mud, and sticks, those were the days.

Binned according to decade: 50s - learning to tie my shoelaces 60s - first roped climb: Friction Face, Quincy Quarries 70s - boulder diving, shale ledges party, Gunks 80s - comparing Seattle to Chicago, climbingwise 90s - 6 weeks of sun after moving from Toronto to Vancouver 00s - doing the Kloochman Park traverse late evenings

I hope that slandering golf is good for my outdoor soul, or I'm in trouble.

"Devolution is an imperfect process." Welcome. Or were you left behind with us by your smarter better-behaved peers?

This will likely exceed your attention Hey, come back here! span. But for my 28th post I’ve decided to go long. I dimly recall other posts about dreams, but they fade like snafflehound burps at wake of day. begin dream So I was in a crowd of people heading for work when I look down and see a quarter on a patch of grass. Reach to pick it up and there is a dollar coin, too. There is also an array of shiny orthopedic hardware and some 2-dollar coins and notes which a doctor has been making about a patient. At work in a vaguely hospital setting. A woman asks for a container of cream and points to some shelves. Can’t find it. Try some cigarettes on her. "No, it’s big", she says. Expand the search and find the cream and point out to the lady that it looks like hospital equipment so it was on the wrong shelf. An evil dude is up to mischief. Face painted like the Joker's. Climbs walls and can grasp sections of our reality and manipulate them as though they were stage sets. Then I’m carrying his head down a hospital corridor and it’s behaving like two water balloons which keep slipping away. 4 of us, no, 3 of us, no 4 of us sitting around a table talking about a departed friend. One of us is telling a story we know is going to be funny. It seems the departed friend was a devil-may-care type who wasn’t worried when he was told that he wouldn’t be able to pick his nose in heaven. He responds with some line we all find hilarious and we adopt the line as our motto and raise glasses of some clear liquid shot through with light and there is a lot of confusion and false starts and inability to keep track of whose glass has touched which other glasses, not to mention the whole scene seems to be shaking. Go through a door. A produce market, a woman points to a broom, start sweeping, only a little embarrassed to be wearing no pants. When I need to go to the back of the store for something I pull on some pants but a guy walks in the door and we all sit down and he asks why we don’t turn a section of the store into a bar. I say that half the store used to be a bar and point to the furnishings, thinking if they wanted a bar they would have left it that way. Get up and walk out, feeling pleased to have dodged the topic. Down a hall to a recess which could be a nursing station on a hospital ward. People standing there who are cascadesclimbers. Can’t identify them as individuals because can’t see their faces, except for Dru who is sitting and seems to be in charge and Fern who is saying something they all agree with.(!) Thinking they all look about the same age and they need an old guy and a 14-year old in the group. end dream Please interpret. Other possibly relevant information: I won’t go into the details that local right-winger Trevor Lautens did in our community rag, about having sex with his wife, but no unturned rocks in that department. Definite sleep deprivation. Time of event somewhere between 1400 and 1800 after a solid month of night shift. Last intake beer 17-pound cat sleeping on my shoulder and ear Bed not adjusted to magnetic lines of force although a nurse once showed me how to find them with a coat-hanger South African flag amongst dirty dishes on kitchen counter Recent to-do with Lord Slime of rec.climbing over bizarre method for simul-climbing in the gym Why bring it up here, though? http://www.jaguarmoon.org/public/Dream/Halak.html So am I about to do some crime? Can you save me and society the anguish? Andy Cairns

Runaway Train for ice climbing. Has the partnership right, some cold weather, a sharp tool does some damage, and there is a climbing sequence.

quote: Originally posted by kevin o'malley: anybody climbed here? Table Mountain, Silvermine, Montagu not Rocklands but other good boulders also Blouberg, Waterval Boven(the Restaurant), the Magaliesberg, Hanglip, and some points between but what do you want to know?

quote: Originally posted by sexual chocolate: Straight up to Marx, left hand out left to texture, move feet up and left, bump left to Double Crimp. Hard match here. Once matched, move right foot to good texture just right of the crack, and throw right hand to Stalin I will have to consult my very sparse notes. It sounds like you may be on a first-name basis with many of the holds. Thank you for initiating this topic and I will think it over. A simple one: Main tower, canal side, big rock on lower left, mantel

quote: Originally posted by offwidthclimber: there will be no dissin' the UW wall! Sure there will. I did the first time I went down there and some idiot said, "You get this rock, and this rock,..." I couldn't even stand in the cracks, let alone climb them. It was oh so convenient, though, and I became one of those people saying, "Here's a new problem." I learned to jam. I met great new partners. It looks goofy but it works like genius. We asked one of the math profs who designed it if they had seen all the possibilities in it, and he said yes with a straight face. Like with any kind of bouldering, you have to be creative and keep trying crazy impossible stuff, or follow around someone else who will. For a workout, try traversing the entire structure, both sides of all features, with no rocks for the feet. Also, can you do the complete traverse with no rocks for the hands? If not, what's the minimum number of rocks for the hands, (anything in for the feet)? The Rock is yesterday's news, but it was good in it's day. Andy Cairns

quote: Originally posted by Dr Flash Amazing: OK, the good Doctor is wondering, for those of you to whom the question applies, what your favorite sport route or routes is or are. Location: Heart of Darkness on the Squaw at Squamish Looks: Permanent Waves at Squamish Looks harder than it is: Poster Boy, Murrin Park Harder than it looked: Anxiety, trail down from the Squaw Felt like I did something (on TR): the one left of Chromatic Suspension, Rogues Gallery? Multi-pitch: the new one on Goat Wall, Mazama Could someone please install one on El Cap?

quote: Originally posted by michael_layton: Anyone done the 19p climb on Davis, or any of the other routes? This is something I always look at while driving hwy 20, and guidebook flippin'. Is that the Davis Peak that used to have a wooden sign on the summit with arrows and mileages to different destinations? Before Bryan Burdo and I spent the night on top, that is? The description for the Kloke route, which we mistakenly thought we had done, said 14 hrs. r.t., which in our case stood for return trip. Be careful when tackling routes put up by people who run marathons. Andy Cairns

quote: Originally posted by Travis: Headed up the Widowmaker on Sunday and ended up bypassing the last headwall on the west side and topping out in front of the Camel. Uncertainty about the route, late hour and our small rack prevented us from taking on the crack systems on the headwall itself. I'm still not clear on the route. Any beta on the last headwall would be greatly appreciated, (The description of the start and route in McLane is pretty vague) and there were many backoff slings below it so I'm sure I'm not alone in this. The alternate finish is certainly not optimal, in fact it is loose and dirty, but it was easy, and it beats retreating. Still fun, but staying on route would make it stellar. I think you were on route if by that you mean how it was first done. You can always climb the Camel from the side you arrive at. I looked carefully at the West side and saw potential looseness and no sign of traffic. It would be an exciting finish and probably has been done but don't think you did the 'alternate' finish. A Cairns

Has anyone put in a word for denial, poor comprehension, and luck? The word is, "Accidents happen to other people." Works for me, so far. Sometimes there is fear, but placing yourself in the scary situation can lead to desensitization. Just watch out for danger, this is bad. Fear is ok. One other trick is to try a mantra. Mine is, "Don't try Pipeline." Andy Cairns

Stupidest thing I've said? "Sure", when Oscar proposed some adventure in South Africa. Stupidest thing I've done? Repeatedly took trips with Oscar. Representative instance: we fly from J'berg to Capetown, leaving Oscar's car parked on a median strip with a smashed rear window and a sign saying, "Dear prospective car thief, there are dangerous snakes in this car." The thing was, like SA golfer Gary Player, Oscar had excellent luck because he practiced his luck so much. Andy Cairns

The stupidest thing I've ever heard climbing? Me laughing at the warning signs. Entering Huntington's Ravine on Mt. Washington, NH, sign on huge boulder says, "Warning: The area you are about to enter has some of the worst weather in the world. If you are not fully prepared, turn back now." I laugh, walk around the boulder, and get blown flat on my ass. Recently in Arches Nat'l Park, many signs that warn about how it is easier to climb up than down. I laugh, climb an arch, and nearly die on the way down because I can't see my footholds. Andy Cairns

Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: " Route or fun you ever had climbing and why? Sometimes it is the experience and route and sometimes it's the views and the moves or whatever for me. Some of my favs- <etc.> " Nice list. Does it have to be fun to be fun? Fun department: Experience Triumph - first Cascades alpine adventure and saw Bob Crawford and Pete Doorish making first ascent of N Butt. Route Northern Lights - response to bragging offer or doable climb? Views Table Mountain, Capetown - "the most beautiful women in South Africa go topless on the beach" (Oscar Wohlfahrt quote)plus ocean sunsets plus clouds pouring over the clifftop plus friend's seizure-invoking lycra Moves Simple Suff(Gunks) Beginner's Demise (Devil's Lake) The hand crack (UW Rock)Because you can do things that look unlikely. All jamcracks were unlikely until I learned the easy way at UW Rock. Whatever Utah, because of the desert and the walls in Zion. Fun? Department getting up anything when it's raining, most recently last pitch of Squamish Buttress Andy

quote: Originally posted by jordop: quote:Originally posted by Cairns: Squamish, Crap Crags to Clean Corner. Good practice session on cedar and 5.8 Really? Nice! How many pitches you figure? Worth cleaning up over the fall or a waste of time? Surprised it stayed sub-5.10 We did about 3 pitches of Crap Crags, then several exploratory forays along Trichrome Ledge to get to the base of Clean Corner. Local climber John Howe has said that up here, "The trees are winning." On Crap Crags they have won, dictated the terms of surrender, packed the climbers off to reservations, and built cities. You follow your partner's progress by the shaking foliage, like Tarzan can tell where the elephant is. Ropes, bolts, cleaning, and potential were noted below Trichrome Ledge. As far as the technical rating of Clean Corner goes, you could ask yourself, "What did 5.8 mean in 1962?" An older guide says, "It involves three pitches of chimneying and offwidth climbing. Take a dozen appropriate nuts..." Appropriate? Andy Cairns

Squamish, Crap Crags to Clean Corner. Good practice session on cedar and 5.8

quote: Originally posted by CraigA: What do you feel is the best climbing movie (Hollywood, non-documentary type) that has ever been made? I didn't too much like the way rock-climbing was presented in Deliverance, but I can recommend the way ice-climbing, or at least the feel of it, is presented in Runaway Train. All the elements are there.

quote: Originally posted by Dru: our sights set on Merci Me based on Andy's assertation that it was "under a roof" and therefore would remain dry My asserwhatever was that this route can be done wet. Dru's amazing if over-active mental storehouse must have added the "under a roof" part. I would have approached the situation differently had I known that Dru had not been up MM before. Like maybe I would have said something about the pitch, like it's soaking wet steep face but has good edges and there are just the 3 bolts. I should have picked up when Dru said, "Have you got me on belay?" Sure, buddy, get back to me when you get to that first bolt.

quote: Originally posted by Dru: Seems to me that Wednesday is the cruelest day of the week. if you could define one day of ideal climbing - the best climbing day of your life - what would happen on that day? What would you do? With what and with who would you climb? This will be my second night of work this week so I guess this is my Tuesday, and I work Fri,Sat, and Sun nights, so that can't be my weekend. I don't know if days or life can be cruel, but something must be going on because the fantasies described heretofore soothed me. Good prescription, Dru. Good medicine, all. I can't define an ideal day, so I'll try for a good-enough one. That's how a parent needs to think, sometimes. South Africa, Northern Province. Oscar Wolfarht. Some of Oscar's friends "spent 3 days on the rock without getting to the top". We don't really even know where the crag is, just that it must be too big to miss. We leave our car in the care of the king of the nearest village. Three hours later we are lost and crawling on hands and knees under thorn trees. We find a trail as night surrounds us and follow it to a meadow where we sleep. In the morning Oscar trades 3 cigarettes for water and info from a local. We get lost again and meet another local out searching for his cattle. He is carrying an axe and we understand why his cattle are trying to avoid him. He points us in another direction and we find the cliff. A helicopter flies overhead. Oscar gets excited because there is a radio installation on top of the mountain and the weekly maintenance visit is a fabled party time. We don't know, however, whether the heli was arriving or leaving. We drag our way through more thorny vines to the base. We reconnoiter. No signs of earlier climbing. We decide to see what the climbing is like and start up at 4pm. After 6 steep but moderate pitches we reach the top. All we have with us are a few hard candies. We need water. We're pretty high up and it's cold. We start for the radio station and get there just at dark. No one is at the station and it is very well protected against forced entry. There are a couple of metal huts nearby and on one of them the door opens to show a bare concrete floor. The door of the other hut is locked. We discover that we can pry up the locked door until the hinges unseat. Inside the second hut are cots, water, a stove, huge quantities of powdered non-dairy creamer, and some old newspapers. We brew batches of Cremora, then lie on the cots with the newspapers spread over us, and the stove going at the slowest burn we can get from it. We almost get warm enough to sleep. As we head back to the top of the climb next morning we notice a line of bolts, well spaced, leading up an overhanging bluff. It looks way hard. Could it be Wolfgang Gullich? He was here. Far and away the most remote sport climb I ever expect to see. Just one lonely climb. We rap back to the base and as we get there an Africa-hard thunderstorm lets loose. We hide out under an overhang and admire the discharges which could kill us at any moment. On the walk back out we pass a hut which has a necklace of cattle bones strung under its eaves. The next week Oscar and I were at Cedarberg, a climbing area outside of Johannesburg. It rained all night and we had no protection from it. Since then any climbing day when I stay dry is near enough ideal for me. Cairns

quote: Originally posted by Rodchester: This is an excerpt from a private e-mail meessage I received. I feel guilty just through association with this website. Guilt by association works for some very high-class types like Mark Twain who was going to have us all drowned when he got to the higher authorities. For more run-of-the-mill types like me, it doesn't work. Just because some humans eat babies or steal books from the library doesn't mean I do. I do worry some about being infected by the evil thoughts of others on this site, but learning that Jim Nelson may be around makes it worth the risk. Thanks, Dru.

quote: it was quite tempting, but what I really enjoy is sitting around the campfire or chatting on a bulletin board At least when the company is good or the them are bad or we realize how ridiculous we look. Truth is humor, humor truth; well said, big guy.