RuMR Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- subtle wrote:I'm not sure exactly what will happen, but it's fairly likely that the resultant sexual tension would far exceed the 1.21 gigawatts necessary to activate the flux capacitor and send the whole gym back to the Enchantment Under the Sea dance in 1955... Yo, McFly, I got your spot! Send, daddy-o! The entire post was pure gold, but this snippet is quite possibly the best thing I have ever read. Bravo. subtle Jul 16, 2007, 6:31 PM Post #902 of 913 (1159 views) Copy Shortcut Registered: Sep 17, 2004 Posts: 414 Re: [zionvier] Ask the NOOB [in reply to] Can't Post -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- zionvier wrote:I'm glad to see "Ask the n00b" has returned to the forefront. But I do have a question for you, why do I need to learn to tie a figure 8? I've been tieing bow knots in my shoelaces for years and I feel very confident with my ability to tie them correctly. Isn't it better to stick with the knots you know so that you don't make a mistake with a new knot you just learned? I don't want to get hurt and I figure accidentally tieing a figure 8 wrong could get me killed, so why not just stick with what I'm comfortable with? I used to climb with a guy named Sean. He was a sick strong boulderer, but could occasionally be pursuaded to don a man-diaper and ropegun some Rumney 5.12 ish, especially if it involved a dyno or it looked like the sort of thing Dave Graham would have climbed when he was...eight...or something. Anyhow, Sean was not terribly precise about his pre-climbing preparations. One day, I asked him about the bird's nest of uber-tangle hanging off the front of his harness, and he looked me in the eye and said..."If you can't tie a knot, tie a lot". Word, broham. I mean, let's face the facts here. All that check-and-double-check stuff that they teach you in the $24.99 belay test and day pass combo at Xtreme Rock N' Birthday Party down by the mall lasts about six seconds in the real world. It's war out there, brother. You thought Vietnam was bad when you..ummm...saw Platoon on TV? Charlie Sheen never had to deal with maybe short-roping a hypercaffinated testy leader on a 5.12x in the pouring rain from a crap stance while deciding which direction to jump into a ditch to try to keep your jimmy-legging partner from decking out because it seriously doesn't look like they're going to make that move...but at least when you land in the ditch you will squash some of the mosquitos covering 95% of your body, just hopefully not on some talus or a mound of fossilized dog poo. And at this exact moment, I achieve a state of zen-like calm and ascend into a warm place of enlightenment because I know that I have checked my climber's knot...and everything is going to be just fine. ...and people ask me why I don't sport climb any more. Oh, I don't know...no reason... But, getting back to your question, the un-doubled shoelace-style friction slip knot seems perfectly appropriate for technical climbing applications. I mean, when was the last time your shoes ever came untied? It's been...sheesh, hours...right? If you're some sort of weak-kneed safety-a-holic, you can throw on a double knot or, better yet, get some of those plastic lace-grabby thingies that all the cool kids in chess club use. I scratched off the picture of Kermit the Frog and wrote Sharma4lyfe in white-out on mine...that's pretty cool, yo. The lace-style friction knot is also rumored to be the preferred method of gumb-to-twine attachment in the Shannon Foot Belay Way...a rogue offshoot of the mega-core Brake Hand Positioning and Orientation Relative to Belay Device forum. Whichever knot solution you end up with, I'm sure it'll all work out ok. I mean, you totally weren't going to fall, anyway...right? Allez. I use a 120M rope...it takes a lot of twine to tie a figure 888. Homard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted August 27, 2007 Author Share Posted August 27, 2007 FUCKIN' HILARIOUS!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 This guy should get paid for his efforts. He's a pro, on par with Dave Berry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted August 27, 2007 Author Share Posted August 27, 2007 he almost sounds like our very own DFA... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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