Dru Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 I stole this from Joe McKay post on live-the-vision.com What the world needs is more red necks. I know that is a strange sounding statement but I happen to believe that it is true. A proper red neck lives by a code of ethics. I think that movies like deliverance have placed a negative stereotype on this particular segment of society. Not all red necks are interested in hearing you squeal like a pig. That brother marrying the sister thing, happens a lot more at the north end of the #93 Parkway then around here in the Banff area. A red neck is 90 percent more likely to stop and give you a hand if your stranded on the side of the road. Their sense of honour is what is needed in modern politics. So rather than having a cheating, double crossing set of guidelines I feel the need for the "Red Neck Rules of Ice Climbing". Alpine Spam's Redneck Rules for Ice Climbing 1. If you climb under somebody and you get whacked with ice suck it up, cause you were in the wrong. There are periods of opportunity where you could sneak around someone or climb up a pitch to get out of the way, use them quickly and wisely, leave room for error. The Weeping Wall and Louise Falls are classic examples. Nobody likes dropping ice on other people so it is the passing climbers responsibility to stay out of harms way. 2. Passing somebody don't make you King of the hill. However like chess it does give you better position. Of course you have to respect the rights of the other players but the ice is in your control. The Rockies is a popular place and not really as big as we let on. Most climbs can be managed with more than one party if people work together. 3. Don't cater to guided groups. They are normally a pretty good bunch to have around. The guides know what they are doing and will not set up under popular multi pitch areas. They should always be early enough or with a small enough party that they can work around you. 4. Don't let the Ice know your scared. Art of War "know yourself, know your enemy and you'll never lose a battle" Like a good pony, ice can smell fear. Nervous apprehension is good for the soul as long as it does not affect the mind and body. Musashi said it best in the Book of Five Rings when describing the state of ones mind in combat ..." when practising martial arts ( Ice Climbing) ...let there be no change at all--with the mind open and direct... neither tense nor lax.. centring the mind so there is no imbalance...Even when the mind is still it is not still, even when the mind is hurried it is not hurried... the mind is not dragged by the body, the body is not dragged by the mind....even if superficially weak hearted be inwardly strong hearted and do not let others see into your mind..." 5. Never spit or swear in front of women or children. It is just plain bad manners. It shows a poor upbringing and a complete disrespect for all the good things your parents tried to teach you. 6. If you know you are slow start stupidly early. This give you the best chance of not having some hot dog solo up past you, set up, then lead above you. Gives plenty of lead and control of your line. It is nice to be coming off when the afternoon shift arrives. 7. Defend the defenceless. Help out if you think someone needs it. This is a tough one because you can feel a little intrusive. If you see an accident in the making I guess you have to step in because you will have to deal with the aftermath. Blatant errors are acceptable, nit picking is unacceptable. 8. Smoke em if yeh got em! Back that first rappel up with a quick screw when using old ice anchors. Takes little time and can save a world of grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icegirl Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 okay, that is one of the funnier things I have read in a while... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott_J Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 (edited) Dru, for the most part I've done 90% of my ice climbing in Alaska and these rules(1,2,3 & 6) basically apply. We have a fair number of large falls that can handle two or more parties with caution, and nearly everone knows if you are out on a -20 to -25 F day there is going to be a lot of BIG DINNER plates; the rule of the day is pick a good belay spot for yourself and if more than one party on the ice when leading try to stay level or way out of the way of the other leader. Yeeeeee hawwwww ride 'em cowboy! Edited December 20, 2002 by sisu_suomi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jja Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 Good stuff Dru, but somehow I think it's a bit of a stretch that a redneck would be reading Sun Tzu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COL._Von_Spanker Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 Yeah, doesn't redneck rhetoric involve admonishing "foreigners" for various reasons such as taking local jobs? I'm not sure what it so redneck about them there rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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